Tuesday, January 15, 2008

Condemning Myself

The following post from another blogging attempt, was my first admission of anything personal and it's really vague. I really wasn't sharing my true heart with anyone at the time. My husband's addiction was effecting our home: remodels would be started and NEVER finished. I didn't want to complain because for one, I didn't want to be a nagging wife. Also, I didn't want other people to judge my husband, which would have fueled my own frustrations about him, and opened that can of worms that was our disintegrating marriage. I didn't know it was disintegrating, I just knew there were things that I didn't like that I felt I had no control over. Why involve your friends in something you can't do anything about? I have since learned that God doesn't operate that way, and I should've sought community, friendship, and help! This was also the start of me finally hearing God tell me to regard my husband as an unbeliever and to obey God accordingly. I fought God on that one for a long time...

Original Post: July 2006

"...Or do you show contempt for the riches of his kindness, tolerance and patience, not realizing that God's kindness leads you toward repentance?" -Ro.2.4

The thing is, I've just got to leave it alone. Whether or not I like how things are, I too need to be kind, tolerant and have patience. Maybe my kindness leads to 180's too...

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